Monthly Archives: July 2010

coffee talk

What a beautiful day for coffee talk. I got here really early today and I think that is what I will do from now on. I am sitting outside. The weather is perfect. A few minutes after sitting down a girl named K. asked to sit at the table with me (the outside is pretty packed). I, of course, said yes knowing she would be blogged about and that we would share stories. She apologized for interrupting but little did she know that she was not interrupting but rather fulfilling her role as a character in my page that sounded like i am way too full of myself and like her sole purpose in life is for me. that is not, however, what i meant. I found out that she is getting into Nutrition. She spoke about the amounts of Calcium in ice cream, the B12 in certain vegetables and how tomatoes and onions release more of their vitamins when cooked. I am pretty sure it was onions. K..if you are reading this feel free to correct me 🙂 I told her that I blogged and she knew that she would be blogged about. She is 23 and from the Northern Virginia area. She sings. She loves food and has a boyfriend. She has 2 tattoos. One is on her left scapula and is from the Opera Carmen. the other is on her left hip and is from Phantom of the Opera. I told her that I have seen Phantom of the Opera and that I would see Carmen. She stayed well past her lunch break but didn’t seem too concerned about being late.
I saw the lovely professor whom I pegged as a photographer. He was in business clothes which he is usually not in. He waved and I waved as he walked by and he asked if I was blogging. I told him that I was about to but not about him. sometimes i lie. but not on purpose
There is a man that I told K. that I would blog about. He has lovely grey hair and it is pulled back in a ponytail. An orange ponytail holder. He is on his iPhone that has a white case. He has grey scruff which goes perfectly with his look. He is wearing a white t-shirt and has the sleeves rolled up. He is wearing light khakis which are cuffed. His socks and shoes are off. He has nice shoes. They look like they are Italian leather. He is reading the Uncanny. I asked him what he was reading. I tried to read it from my seat but could only see the cover which is of 2 naked women. I was interested. I asked him what it was about and he said that it is a book set in Europe I think Europe is haunting me…in a good way. a very good way.  He said it was psychoanalysis. I don’t think I will ever read it. Some guy just walked out carrying a Lamic. Raspberry. Framboise. My favorite. And I digress….
The man reading “The Uncanny” is drinking a bottle of Pellegrino. So classy. He is a confident man. So sophisticated. He has a slight blonde streak in his hair but you have to stare at him for a while in order to see it. It is a nice touch.
There many more people out here. 21 to be exact not counting me. I do not have time to write about them. There are 4 mac’s opened here on this patio. There are 2 business meetings going on. One seems quite boring with a legal pad and some guy with his phone on his belt. There are some artsy guys behind me in a meeting with 2 people talking about visual arts and creating and imaging and mediums and spaces and projects and poets and LA and hipsters and collaborations and perspectives and feelings.
There are 2 people studying. There is one dog and 5 people wearing green shirts.
I love this place. I have been on an Adele kick. Have you heard that voice? She is from London. I love her. She sings in my range. I sing with her way too loudly in my car. She has a song called “Hometown Glory”. I love it. Some lines are,

   “Round my hometown, memories are fresh
Round my hometown, ooh, the people I’ve met
Are the wonders of my world, are the wonders of my world
Are the wonders of this world, are the wonders and now”
I nearly cried, yes. i cry. i am a baby. don’t let this tough exterior fool you…i am a baby. on my way here today listening to that song. I feel like this place is my home. This is my hometown. I feel so connected here. These are my people, whether or not I know them. I feel connected to them. I am getting to know them. Their stories. These people are the wonders of my world. I am so happy right now. I am so happy right now.  Jose’, one of the guys who works here, just brought me lemonade. How nice is that. I am so happy. 

story

I have written more this week than ever before. It feels good. I feel totally responsible for the survival of the us postal service. I may have to get a second job just for postage.

I have had such a great week so far and I know that more good things are going to come. I had some great conversations this week about life and dreams and our life as a story.

A year or so ago, someone that I know closely told me that I was to keep all of these things to myself. The problems that I was going through, my heart, my story. What a lie. I am thankful that I did not listen to that voice. I am thankful that I started blogging and sharing my story. I am thankful for the things that have come from it. I am thankful that I know you because of it. I am thankful for the doors that sharing my story has opened up. We were not created to live alone. To be alone. God himself is in a Trinity. We were made to share our stories. To let others stories effect ours. To learn and grow and grow up together and in community. Although my current community looks nothing like I had pictured, it is my community.

bad face

I am drinking my Belgian beer and eating Brussels cookies. hmmm. If I can’t be in Europe then I will bring Europe to my house. I have really tried to process what has been going on but it is kinda hard with a 2 year old wanting you to hold her while having episodes 17-20 of “Gummi Bears” on repeat. I have about 60 days to get out of my apartment. I am moving. For real. Moving closer to the city. D.C. I am excited. I found out that we can file for divorce as of January 1st. JANUARY 1ST!!!!! That is so soon. That was by far the best news of my day. Why am I listening to Christmas music?
I am going to start putting lots of effort into my business. I haven’t been. at.all. I have had clients come to me and really haven’t taken anytime to get the word out or do any sort of marketing. For those who did not know, I am a Personal Style Consultant. Best job ever huh? If you have seen the show What Not to Wear, then you know what I do. without the camera and without the 5K.  I love allowing women/men to see the power that a wardrobe can have. To feel beautiful. To dress the body that is currently theirs. Not 10lbs lighter or how it used to be but how it is now. I teach my clients about the importance of proportion and fit in their clothing. I teach them how to shop with a purpose and on a budget. I throw away the horrible things I find in their closets and bring to life things that they didn’t know were great. I shop for those who hate to shop and bring bags of goodness to their homes. I love what I do. This is just a time of transition for me as I look for a new home and spend lots of hours building my business.
I have about 9 pen pals now. It is so much fun. I had to buy more stamps yesterday. I have 2 in Missouri,  4 in Virginia, 1 in Tennessee, 1 in Georgia and 1 in California. Thank you to my pen pals. It is fun getting to know you and your handwriting and your paper and your envelopes. I love getting your letters in the mail. I would love to have pen pals in each state and some overseas. I gotta think of a cooler word than pen pal.   I am going to Kansas City the end of August/early Sept. I don’t know for how long. Maybe a few weeks. I am excited for that trip. My last trip their was awesome and I expect this one to be even better. I am glad July is almost over and I hope that August goes by even faster. It is my least favorite of all the months of the year. It is the hottest. Grrrrrr. September is just around the corner, which means I will be 28 years old. Bring it. I am ready to be 28. Top 3 recent searches in my google search thingy:
1. how do you say goodbye in Swedish
2. how tall is Halle Berry
3. Adele Best for Last Lyrics
Today, Bailey (my daughter) looked at some of my new modeling pictures and said, “Momma. You need a hair cut and you have a bad face.”
🙂

monkey ball soup

I was not promised that I would not have to go through the storms. I was promised that HE would never leave for nor forsake me. I feel as though the temperature of my story is changing. This morning, I read my journal entry from a year ago. It makes my heart smile that I am no longer in that season of life. It makes me thankful that I was allowed to go through that trying season. Makes me thankful that the LORD allowed all that happened and during all of it, was ever so present. There is now a burning in my heart, like the 100 degree Virginia heat, that is slowing pushing me in a different direction. I am going to have to make some big decisions here in the next few weeks and months. Don’t get me wrong, decision making is kinda my thing see previous blog post titled Vase of Tulips but these decisions are kinda huge. Not like Chipotle or GrandThai, dress or jeans, eggs or bagel. I am going to get my change of scenery that I want one way or another. I wonder what coffee shop I will be blogging at in a few months? I will not be cooking in this kitchen that I have cooked in for 4 years. I will not have my nice walk in closet. I will not have my wonderful neighbors from Nepal. why am i crying?!  
Okay. I needed a break. I laid out in the sun for like 30 minutes. Yes. I like to tan too. Leave me alone. 
This has really been a great chapter for me in my story. It has not been easy at all, but being aware of my life and my journey as a story has transformed my perspective. 
It is all about your perspective.
Change your mind set. 
I will gladly embrase the next chapters. They will not look like this one. They are not suppose to. Now I need a strong drink. Iced coffee. yes please. 

Coffee talk

Look at how silly that picture is beside me. It is just silly. It needs to be touched up too. I wish you could see it up close. It is funny. It is awesome what some retouching can do. Anyways. I feel like there has been too much coffee talk this week. I apologize for that.
OH. did you see my new flowers? I love them. It’s kinda my thing. I also lost about 3lbs worth of eyebrows last nite. There are 3 things that I have learned how to do that I will never regret.
#1. how to cut an onion without crying and properly
#2. give myself a perfect manicure with the cuticle cutter thing and all
#3. do my own eyebrows
So. I usually would blog about the people that I am surrounded by but not in this one.
I want to share a bit of what has been going on in my little heart.
I met some people recently who I think might be an intragel part in my story. I am really excited about that. I am starting to picture what I desire my life to look like. It is so different that the one I had pictured a few years ago. How can things change so quickly in a life? It is crazy how one minute you can be walking down a certain path and then, all of a sudden, you are on a completely different road. Other people’s choices can drastically effect your story. my story. It is scary and awesome and exciting.  What are some things in your life that someone has said or done that has completely wrecked you? Maybe it was something you read. Maybe it was a look someone gave you. 3 things recently in my life that I read:
#1 we want Don to want something
#2 Until one day…..
#3 get a loft
These 3 things are propelling my story. Thank you LORD.
ok. so I know I said that I wouldn’t write about the people in the room but I must describe this man that just walked past. He looks kinda like Pastor Gary at my church. Such a handsome man. I think this guy is about 5-9 years older though. I bet he is European. why? He is wearing those long shorts that Euro men wear. They are navy. He is wearing a striped polo-navy and light blue striped but an overall coral color. his hair is perfectly grey and combed to the side. He is wearing boat shoes ( i think). He is on his macbook pro. iced latte. he has bright blue eyes and is wearing glasses with a small black rim. he is perfectly tanned i bet he just got back from vacation in the dominican.  His ears are larger than I expected and he is reading a magazine. I can’t tell which one. He looks highly educated and I bet he has a summer home…in Europe. His legs are crossed. I am sure he drinks expensive red wine and donates a lot of money to charity. He keeps looking at me…well, I am kinda staring at him. haha. I will not tell him that I just gave him a story. I don’t want another one of my stories to get hijacked. I love this place. I love to write. I love Chipotle. and my pen pals. I love Kansas City.

Coffee talk follow up

Okay. So……after I shut my computer, I asked Sam if he was a photographer. He said no. I was so wrong. I felt like I wanted to go back and edit my blog post. I did not. I don’t know what he does now. My whole story about him is off now. He has to be some sort of artist. He was writing something and I saw some big words. He had a special keyboard for his mac. A weird one that was really close. I don’t think I would like it. SO…..
Crazy old Maurice (line from Beauty and the Beast) over here (which is suppose to be me) TOLD HIM THAT I WAS BLOGGING ABOUT HIM!!!!.
who.
does.
that.
I do.
Oh my gosh. Not only do I do that BUT.
I
gave
him
the
LINK
!
Sometimes I wonder about my own judgement. I know you do to. wonder about my judgement that is. I prefer the strikeout over the parenthesis.
I spelled out the web address. I felt a bit weird, hoping that I didn’t write anything inappropriate about him. I don’t think I did. I mean, saying that you sat so close to someone that you could smell their hair isn’t weird……is it? creepy. yes. weird. no.
And I was late for work because of all this and I got written up for it. Work was slow…so….slow.
It was one of those nites that makes  you question what the heck you are doing in life and makes you want to quit. BUT…
EARLIER…..
I got a random text from an 816 area code that is kansas city earlier today. I didn’t know who it was from and the 816 person didn’t tell me. I just knew it wasn’t a man cuz that is what the texter said. We played this game all day of me asking questions and guessing. I finally got the answer tonite. It was so much fun. Thank you A for the fun little “who the heck is this” game. I love you. The texter wrote something that changed the rest of my nite. She said that this part of the story is the part that gets edited but everyone knows happens. I am so dumb and deleted my inbox so I don’t have the exact txt.  She said that this is the part of the story where I wait in the stillness. Wait…and then the next part of the story goes,
“Until one day…..”
🙂 It made my day when she typed that. Yeah…that is how it is going to go. I am just walking out these pages and then….One day…….

coffee talk

Ahhh. my coffee shop. I am glad that the people here now know my drink. I got my iced coffee in a pint glass today. I think its gonna be my new thing. The cup melts when they put in the hot coffee to melt my sugar. I kinda like the pint glass thing.
I am sitting upstairs but I rather be down stairs. There are a ton of interesting looking people down there that I would love to watch but it is kinda packed. Maybe I will go down anyways and sit on the couch. I would have to sit close to someone though and they would be able to see that I am bloggin. maybe I will ask them their story. going down stairs now………brb.
So glad I did this. I am in the middle of it all now. I blogged a few coffee talks ago about some photographer looking guy. He is here. Right in front of me. Its great. I can almost smell his hair because he is so close. He has some streaks of grey. It is perfect. Looks like he just came from the gym…or is going. I bet he does yoga. Yeah. I would really want to sit outside but it is blazin out there.
Was my last post a bit confusing? Someone told me they didn’t get it. I told them that there was nothing really to get. It is just a new chapter.
In the book I am reading, the book about life as a story, they talk about how the character needs to want something. I thought for a minute about my life and how I need to want something. It is not specific. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if it means that there is some sort of job that I need to want or a place that I need to want or what. There is just something that I am going to need to want to keep my story going.
In just walked a guy that was here last week. He was reading a book on Nazi life and it was like sci-fi and the people entering an alternate universe. How do i know that??? I heard him explain it to someone else. He rides a bike and smokes American Spirits. He is balding on top and has a cross tattoo on right tricep. He wears cool shorts and dingy shoes.
DANG IT!! I just looked at the time. I am suppose to be at work in 2 minutes. It makes me want to quit and blog full time. So this guy who I pegged as a photographer really is one. I can see his computer. He is in some sort of photographer program. I am good. He is skinnier than I thought.
As I walked in, some guy on a bike said he liked my flower. I like it too. He is sitting with the photographer. He has a smashed ring finger and a camo back pak. He is wearing jeans that are rolled up to his calves and some hiking sandals. Black shirt. Hole in the right back pocket of his pants. brown wallet. slight beard.
Okay. I don’t feel like much got accomplished.
Holy crap. The photographer guy just turned around and asked me about my job. I have been his waitress before. HAHAHAHHA.
He doesn’t know that I am blogging about him right now. His name is Sam. isn’t that great. Oh well, off to work.

The next chapter

       “We need Don to want something.” pg 63

And all it took was 6 words to end and begin a new chapter of my story. 

things i don’t like

i don’t like kites. they are so annoying. if someone flew a kite by me and i had scissors, i would cut the string. i would cut it in the little silly thing that they hold so it wouldn’t be so obvious. then, they would want to get that kite up really high and Poof! gone. am i evil. no. i just don’t like kites. a lot.

olives. ugh. i get grossed out when people order dirty martini’s. i try to get someone else to put in the olives. they stink. i don’t like olive juice. i don’t like when it gets on my hand. that is enough about olives.

this may in fact be my least favorite thing to see on a male. i am shaking my head just looking at it. such a sad piece of clothing. yes, you may be able to store all kinds of stuff in those oversized pockets but..why? how much stuff do you really need on your person? its like the go to piece for a hoarder.

you can like all these things. i don’t. and i don’t not like you because you like these things. i will not stop talking to you because your favorite drink is a xtra dirty grey goose martini and you can’t wait to go to the kite convention. just don’t invite me. i won’t go. or….maybe i will and bring scissors. but if you are going to do all of that….don’t wear the khaki’s. that would just be too much.

letters for algernon

who doesn’t want a handwritten letter in the mail? I remember in 5th grade at Robinson Elementary that I had a penpal. I loved it. I have a penpal now. We ask questions and say some randomnesses about ourself and our day. It is the best 44 cents ever spent. Let us support the US mail (which might have to shut down here in a few years thanks to technology and the fact that people don’t know how to write…only texting now) and buy a stamp. email me your address: breduis@gmail.com
don’t email me your email address. your HOME address. I know…we don’t use it much anymore. ask the mailman if you aren’t sure.
algernon should get letters. not flowers.