I want to remember this moment.
This feeling. The reality that things did not~
absolutely did not
turn out the way I had hoped and planned.
They are so much more difficult and so much better.
I entered this home a young hopeful bride and now, nearly 5 years later, I leave this apartment a single mother not knowing where I will be living next week.
I leave with a few loyal friends by my side painting, taking stuff to the dumpster
and cleaning the bathrooms.
I have realized so much in this home.
I have, many of nights, been on the floor of the bathroom
balling my eyes out wondering where God was.
I have been locked in my bedroom scared to death to come out.
I have learned how to cook in this kitchen. I started my business here.
I brought my baby home to this address.
I have had my lights cut off many a months in this home and wondered how
I would be able to pay the bill on my own.
I found out that I failed out of school in the hallway and in the living room was
where I learned about the affair.
I painted all the walls and hung every picture.
I sat on the porch and ate ice cream more than I probably should have.
I sat in my rocking chair in the middle of the night and nursed my baby with tears in my eyes
wondering why the Lord would bless me with such a sweet darling.
I learned the importance of a stud finder, clorox wipes and a mortar&pestle
I can’t believe 5 years has come and gone.
Tears fill my eyes as I type this in my bare kitchen ~not because I am leaving this place but in thankfulness in all the Lord has allowed me to go through within these walls.
I have gotten to know the Lord in this home.
I have felt His presence and have heard His voice.
I don’t know where I will be living next.
My home is the Hilton for now.
It is all a part of the story and I must walk out these pages.
And with that, I flip the last page of that book.