It is my favorite word. I am really feeling this in my soul these days. The idea of getting a full time job is tightly packed between being a stay at home mom and running my business in my rolodex of thoughts. My heart is being pulled between 2 very different locations. I see many different roads in which I can take. I have a choice. Oh choices. I am hoping that wise choices are what will get me out of this mess. This beautiful mess that I am in.
Last nite, I did something that I haven’t done in a month. I journaled. I read my last entry to see where life was and what I was dealing with. I am amazed to see how different life looked just a month ago. Wow. In just 30 days the picture of life can go from a plain white canvas to a beautiful piece of art, or, in my case, something resembling some splatter painting done by an amateur. I know in my heart, however, that when all can seem wrong, all can be just right. I know that. My heart knows that. I mean. I really KNOW that. I have been through that. I have felt the pain of that. And here I am again, feeling that. It is in this time that trust and faith and hope are being watered only to sprout their little heads above the pile of dirt and compost.
In reading last months entry, I also read last years and the year before. WOW. How different are my writings now. I am thankful for that. I am thankful for the answers that I have been giving. I am now looking at today and seeing how different my life can look 30 days from now. I have the ability to make things happen. I am a person who goes after what I want. And now, in this time, when there are so many options, I sit back and watch it all happen as if I am not the protagonist in my own story, but rather a mere movie goer sitting in the back row with a xlarge refillable trough of popcorn and enough beverage to quench the thirst of a Chinese army, waiting to see who will be the next character to pop up on the screen.
I am still reading “The Tipping Point”. It is great. I have the coolest bookmark in the world (a piece of IMAX format film) to mark my place and remind me of Kansas City. I think I am reaching a tipping point. Slowly but surely.
“I learned that not just any character can work to create a good story. It takes a special kind of character and not just any ambition would define a good story, it took a special kind of ambition. “-Donald Miller.