Category Archives: dreams

Final 2011 post

Hey friends!

This will be my last post of the year. I leave in just a few hours for  a surprise overseas trip. AHHHHH!!

I have a feeling it is going to be magical.

I can’ t wait to post when I get back and tell you about all the wonderful little adventures that happened.

I am BEYOND thankful for this year. It has been the hardest yet most amazing year of my life. I am not the same person that I was last December and for that I am grateful. The Lord has stripped my life of the things I thought I needed and has given me HIM in its place and there is where I have found my joy & contentment. I have felt more rejection, failure, sorrow & loneliness in this year and at the same time, I have also experienced the deepest love, understood redemption a bit and have witnessed  the most crazy provision:

~I was completely out of toilet paper, prayed, and a random person showed up with a a pack of toilet paper

~I had no gas in my car, and no money to buy gas, and a friend told me to meet her at the gas station so she could fill up my tank

~On a day where I didn’t have money to buy lunch nor food in my fridge to bring, a co-worker just happened to bring extra food for me

~My rent was paid, for 8 months straight, by someone different each month

~I went to Disney World, for FREE!

~Not to mention that someone brought Bailey and I into their home…RENT FREE!

This is just a tiny little bit of the things the Lord has done. I can honestly take ZERO credit for any of this. The Lord is crazy & awesome and up to so much good for our lives. Sometime though, we have to go through some deep painful things so that we will learn to trust in the Lord & become fully dependent on Him. Let me be the first to tell you that it is not fun or easy. Not knowing where you will be living, how your baby will get fed or what on earth the Lord has for your next page is not fun. I think that is why so many people stay in their safe little stories even if they hate the story they are in. At least there is something familiar & comfortable about it, but when I read the Bible, I have yet to read where people who follow Jesus lead safe comfortable lives. Is that in your Bible?

My prayer for 2012 is that we would be willing to abandon the safe little story that we have held onto in our minds. That we would allow the Lord to write us a story that people would want to read. A story of adventure & faith & trust. That we would no longer desire the petty things of this world but that we would be desperate for the Father & His mighty Word. In this next year, decide to give it up. Allow the Lord to just rock your world and take your story to a place that you would never expect.

I can’t wait to tell you all about my trip. I will be back after the first of the year.

I am jumping into a new story and am excited to see what the first few pages have!

You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, so that my soul may praise you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!”~Psalm 30:11


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Get behind me!

I just have to do it. I just have to go. To follow my heart and my dreams and that which I am called to. Why is it so hard? I was reading in Exodus today about Moses. God told him specifically what to do. God told him what to say and what would happen when he said it. God was specific. Moses kept telling God that he couldn’t, that he wasn’t good enough, eloquent enough, etc. It is so easy to look at Moses and call him a goof ball in the beginning of chapter 4. We just want to tell Moses to go because we can see what happened because of his obedience.

But what about when we don’t know the outcome. Or what about when God promises us that great things are going to happen. Why are we still scared. Why can’t we just GO and TRUST! I have a feeling that I am not the only one in this situation. That you, or someone you know is scared to do what the Lord has called them to do for whatever reason.

I am realizing that saying NO to the enemy of our souls is a daily thing. It is a battle didn’t I blog that a while ago? time to start following my own blog. Not a one time thing. I am fighting today. Fighting my flesh and my circumstances. Fighting my reality with what the Lord has called me to.  May the Lord prevail.

Let us turn our back to the lies of the enemy. Turn and run to the Lord. Run to His arms.

(sidenote-why do people sag their pants? It just looks silly. They should just make thigh highs out of denim. silly silly people)

This is the year

I am going after my dream. 
I am the only one to blame if I don’t. 
I will not be afraid. 
I will work hard. 
It will take time and not happen overnight. 
I will work very hard.
A year will go by regardless.
This will be the year. 

Bikram yoga dress code: wear as little as you want.

In a recent conversation,  a girl R. and I were talking about our dreams. I was telling her what my dream life looks like: running my home, taking care of my husband and my children, cooking everyday, modeling, doing my business, etc.  The man that was standing near us looks at me with crazy eyes and say, “That is not a dream. That’s a JOB!” I said back to him, “Well, its MY dream!”. And it is.

In other recent news, I should be getting a fancy phone soon, I think I am getting a cold again, a grilled cheese should always consists of fresh bread, muenster, rosemary, evoo and fresh cracked pepper, R. from Northside Social is doing cooking classes!!, I found a Bikram studio near my job and I will be going in the next week or so, Nordstrom’s espresso roast coffee is actually good and I got 7 magazines in the mail yesterday. 🙂

Shameless plug.

You know you are busy when you haven’t been able to read any of your new magazines. Here is my new fashion blog:

Random ponderings #4

Just dreaming of life.

Walking out this day. Thinking of tomorrow. Doing the hard work now. Building my future one little brick at a time. The payoff will be great but it will not be now.

I am going to Kansas City for Thanksgiving!!!!!! I am beyond excited for this trip. My last trip home was the best ever and I expect even greater things this trip. I will get to see my friend L’s new baby, hang with newly acquired friends from my last trip and hang with my dear friend A who is also going to be there for the holiday!!! (umm. so pumped about that A. Once again you made my day) I just love that city. I love the people and the simplicity of life there. It is refreshing.

You know what has been really grinding my gears lately? Uggs and bootie shorts paired together. I hate both of them for obvious reasons but when they come together I physically get sick. A bit of vomit comes up and I have to quickly swallow to get it back down. I am also seeing way to many puffy vests. I don’t mind a thin puffy vest but the ones that stick out a good 6 inches in the front and back are just silly. Don’t do it. I will write about you. I am also not enjoying the flip flops that are still lingering. I wasn’t supportive in the summer and I will not be supportive in October. I also can’t believe that grown women are wearing the sweat suits still. Even worse, here at Tyson’s corner mall, they have the words tattooed and bedazzled on the ass of the sweat pant. Again, vomit comes up.

That was so negative. My eyes have been pleased with all the tights and skirts that are being worn. The Hugo Boss slim fit suits are so hot. I think every thin man should own one or two. I am loving the loafers without sock look and the short hem on the skinny trouser. There are lots of great looks going on this fall. Camel is a huge color for fall and I just love love love it. I know that feathers and animal print is big but I chose to stay away from it. I am diving into vintage pieces and can’t wait for my Kansas City trip to find some treasures. The vintage shopping in KC is the BEST!!!!

Back to work. I am so excited to get off tonite, watch some Modern Family, eat ice cream and take up the entire bed

The Dress Looks Nice on You.

Im ready to go on an adventure. Not like the adventure this girl is about to go on because I am not a fan of roller coasters or ferris wheels but my own big adventure. This week has started off a bit slow. I guess not every page in one’s story is suppose to be filled with wonder and amazement. A few things kinda got figured out though.
#1. I am not going to be able to go to KC like I wanted to the end of this month. I WILL, however, be going the week of Oct. 17th. 🙂 and….I will be seeing Sufjan Stevens in concert. yes folks. be jealous. I am beyond excited for all that will go down during that visit.
#2. I am going to try and get a roommate. It will be just too expensive to move closer to the city at this point. So. If you know anyone who needs a place to live..okay. not just anyone. but you get what I am saying. Let me know. There is a great room with a walk in closet and big windows and a bathroom for rent. There is also a promise of good food available for eating at all times and a freezer full of ice cream.

I am currently reading “The Tipping Point”. It has been such a great read. I really enjoy books like that. I am not a fan of August. Have a mentioned that? I think I have. I get seasonal depression in the summer. Not really…but kinda. I need a break. Like a few days off. With cash and a car and some far off destination and maybe a good friend and some mix tapes and lots of snacks. We would go thrifting for days and drink too much coffee and eat lots of fruit.

I have been thinking a lot about all the dreams I have for my future and wondering how on earth they are going to pan out. Not in a stressful, panicky sort of wonder but more in a confident and eager sort of wonder. I feel like this chapter that I am in is about working. Working on building relationships, becoming a better cook, being faithful in the small things, building my business, loving people more, taking care of my home, being a good steward of my finances, and so on. It is necessary and I will gladly walk out these pages.

What do you want?

The ambitions we have will become the stories we live. If you want to know what a person’s story is about, just ask them what they want. If we don’t want anything, we are living boring stories, and if we want a Roomba vacuum cleaner, we are living stupid stories. If it won’t work in a story, it won’t work in life.”

“You know, a story is based on what people think is important, so when we live a story, we are telling the people around us what we think is important”


So this is what I really wanted to blog about but didn’t. I am using the font Helvetica. Has anyone else seen that documentary??? I.LOVE.DOCUMENTARIES.  I in fact, did not want to blog about the font, rather I wanted to blog about what I want. What I see. What I hope and desire for my life. 

The picture above speaks to what I picture my weekends to look like. I want my community of friends and family at my home. I want to break bread together often.  I want to be known by these people and I want to know them. I want to be a part of their stories and I want all of them to be characters in mine. I want to have quality food on my table. I want to know where that food came from and want to be a part of the process of growing it. I want my chairs not to match. I want to have worked hard to be able to afford to feed all of these people whom I love so dearly…which means I want my business to flourish. I want to show women how to walk in the beauty that they have been given, how to own that beauty and how not to pervert it through a booty short or showing way too much cleavage.  I want women to be excited about their wardrobe, knowing that each piece that hangs itself on that wooden hanger is a visual representation of who they are and where they are going in life.  I want these women know their worth. I want to continue to know my worth. I want to know what the Lord says about me. What HE feels about me. What HE speaks over me. I also want a man who is fully committed to that as well. Fully committed to the LORD and what HE says about him and us and our family.  I want us to enjoy the same things in life. To have fun. Lots and lots of fun. To go on adventures. I want our life to be an even bigger and better story than just my little story alone. I want him to believe in our life as a story. A story in which the LoRD has the pen and is daily writing us into something grand. Something huge. Something that we can’t do on our own. Something so big that it sounds silly. Just like Noah. I want to give a lot of things away. I want to travel the world and know people everywhere. I want to be a really great cook and wife and mother. I want to have lots of people whom I write to. I want to write a book. I want to continue to be filled with a confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. I want to be completely filled with joy and peace. (Romans 15:13). 
This is what I wanted to blog about tonight. What do you want? 


I have written more this week than ever before. It feels good. I feel totally responsible for the survival of the us postal service. I may have to get a second job just for postage.

I have had such a great week so far and I know that more good things are going to come. I had some great conversations this week about life and dreams and our life as a story.

A year or so ago, someone that I know closely told me that I was to keep all of these things to myself. The problems that I was going through, my heart, my story. What a lie. I am thankful that I did not listen to that voice. I am thankful that I started blogging and sharing my story. I am thankful for the things that have come from it. I am thankful that I know you because of it. I am thankful for the doors that sharing my story has opened up. We were not created to live alone. To be alone. God himself is in a Trinity. We were made to share our stories. To let others stories effect ours. To learn and grow and grow up together and in community. Although my current community looks nothing like I had pictured, it is my community.

bad face

I am drinking my Belgian beer and eating Brussels cookies. hmmm. If I can’t be in Europe then I will bring Europe to my house. I have really tried to process what has been going on but it is kinda hard with a 2 year old wanting you to hold her while having episodes 17-20 of “Gummi Bears” on repeat. I have about 60 days to get out of my apartment. I am moving. For real. Moving closer to the city. D.C. I am excited. I found out that we can file for divorce as of January 1st. JANUARY 1ST!!!!! That is so soon. That was by far the best news of my day. Why am I listening to Christmas music?
I am going to start putting lots of effort into my business. I haven’t been. at.all. I have had clients come to me and really haven’t taken anytime to get the word out or do any sort of marketing. For those who did not know, I am a Personal Style Consultant. Best job ever huh? If you have seen the show What Not to Wear, then you know what I do. without the camera and without the 5K.  I love allowing women/men to see the power that a wardrobe can have. To feel beautiful. To dress the body that is currently theirs. Not 10lbs lighter or how it used to be but how it is now. I teach my clients about the importance of proportion and fit in their clothing. I teach them how to shop with a purpose and on a budget. I throw away the horrible things I find in their closets and bring to life things that they didn’t know were great. I shop for those who hate to shop and bring bags of goodness to their homes. I love what I do. This is just a time of transition for me as I look for a new home and spend lots of hours building my business.
I have about 9 pen pals now. It is so much fun. I had to buy more stamps yesterday. I have 2 in Missouri,  4 in Virginia, 1 in Tennessee, 1 in Georgia and 1 in California. Thank you to my pen pals. It is fun getting to know you and your handwriting and your paper and your envelopes. I love getting your letters in the mail. I would love to have pen pals in each state and some overseas. I gotta think of a cooler word than pen pal.   I am going to Kansas City the end of August/early Sept. I don’t know for how long. Maybe a few weeks. I am excited for that trip. My last trip their was awesome and I expect this one to be even better. I am glad July is almost over and I hope that August goes by even faster. It is my least favorite of all the months of the year. It is the hottest. Grrrrrr. September is just around the corner, which means I will be 28 years old. Bring it. I am ready to be 28. Top 3 recent searches in my google search thingy:
1. how do you say goodbye in Swedish
2. how tall is Halle Berry
3. Adele Best for Last Lyrics
Today, Bailey (my daughter) looked at some of my new modeling pictures and said, “Momma. You need a hair cut and you have a bad face.”