Category Archives: journal

From the journal…

photo: johnfenzel.vox.com

Journal entry: March 23rd 2011

“My story is not for me.It is for you and your doubt and your fear and your abandonment. None of thisstuff matters. Jesus is what matters. And not that your hurt or your sorrow isnot important but it is that, despite that. Despite the mess ups and theimperfections and the failure and the rejection-Jesus. Sweet Jesus. Whispers sogently in the ears of our soul- I love you. I have a plan for you and yourlittle mess of a life. Ive got it. I know you don’t know. I know you don’ttrust and you fear, but darling daughter, you are mine. I picked you. I createdyou. I love you darling. And I, your father, your husband, your maker, willNEVER leave or forsake you. Oh sweet darling. My darling daughter. I love youmore than you could ever imagine. I knew this was going to happen. I knew it.This is not a surprise to me. I am allowing something in your soul to happenthat would not otherwise happen. I know. Cry. Feel. Weep daughter. I will showyou step by step my faithfulness. I know you don’t fully trust me. I know itshard. I will prove my faithfulness to you and you wont ever have to doubt. Butyou will. And I will prove to you over and over again. Because I love you. Youare darling to me. You can not imagine what I have for you. I smile when I seeyou trying to picture it. You can’t even fathom it. You can’t make it happen.Only through your obedience and my grace will you get there. It will be harderthan you trying to do life in your own strength because many a days you won’tknow what is next. It won’t make sense to those around you, like Noah, but knowwhat I have spoken to you daughter. Know my voice. You know my voice. You knowthe still sound of my voice. Follow that. Be gracious and follow that. I willnot leave you. I have not brought you this far to leave you. I will not leaveyou. I am not man who will leave you. I am your God. When you feel like you cango no further; keep going. It is through that push. Just like the last pushesof labor, when you feel you can push no more, that you birth the promises Ihave for you.”
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