Another month nearly gone. Time is flying. This year is nearly over. This year. This hardest year of my life. For that I am thankful. I am reflecting on where I am now and where I hope to go. I am not just thinking about the destination but the journey that is ahead. It is not an easy road. I am going to need help. I am going to need faith. I need to get ready. Get my heart ready. I gotta make the necessary steps now to ensure that I get where I want to go. It seems daunting when I think about all that I must do in order to get to the place where I feel that I am suppose to be. Seems overwhelming and unrealistic. God has to do it through me. I know I can’t do it on my own.Sidenote. It is Halloween. I am at the mall. I wonder what foreigners are thinking as grown women are walking around in pirate costumes and kids are dressed like pumpkins and little butterflies. We are a weird country. I am disturbed because I can’ tell if some of the people are in costume or not. I hope the little dresses are just prostitute costumes and that people really don’t dress like that. I have a strange feeling, however, that they wear those dresses on days other than October 31st.
There is so much to learn on this journey. Just when you think you are going along the roads of life all fine and what not, a dear friend comes along and shoots you straight. I am thankful for that type of person.
The type who won’t just run down the court with you and the ball of your thoughts and emotion and feelings you just passed to them hoping they will shoot a 3 and the crowd will cheer, but one who will chest pass that ball right back to you while giving you the confidence to shoot your own shot. I don’t know if you knew me at all in high school but if you did, you are well aware that I was on the basketball team. Notice I did not say that I played basketball. I was, however, on the team And if you were one of these who graced the halls of RHS with myself then you probably went to the biggest bball game of the year in which we play RSHS.
Now, I am sure you did not really care to watch the JV girls but I bet you were there for our game. And…I know that you saw what I did in that game. I am shaking my head now in remembrance. For the fellow readers not fortunate enough to have been there let me give you a quick, painful recap:
well, since i never actually really “played” I was not used to game situations. hahah. i just sound stupid. ps. i only tried out for bball because i knew it would be a good workout in between track seasons. it had NOTHING to do with my love for basketball. this is kinda like how i wanted to join the Army because I knew basic training would be a good workout. what is WRONG with me people. anyways. so, of course i get put into the game with the last minute left on the clock. i am sure we were down by a few. i don’t remember details. WHY? because i was not paying attention to the game. when you sit on the bench every single game, you get used to this. you feel like i fan in a matching jersey and Jordan’s. so, back to my second most embarrassing moment, long story short, i somehow steal the ball and run to the opposite goal. I shoot and of course miss. no one was around me.
i missed the lay up. don’t laugh. i mean. do you know what this does to a girl in high school!!!! yeah. messes you up. you get humbled really quick. and never get put in the game again. that was my one and only year of bball.
Some of my friends are there to cheer me on, some are there to make sure my laces are tied and my jersey is tucked in, some are there to make sure I don’t go out for the team next season and others are there to make sure I never get the ball.
I love you all and am glad to call you friend.
There are so many things I would love to do now. Not now but in the near future. The first thing that keeps popping in my head tonight is going to Europe. I think I have been listening to way to much Lisa Hannigan and Damien Rice but I want to go. I don’t really care which part. Norway would be in the top 5 and Ireland sounds lovely. I mean, the accent sounds lovely. I am sure it is breathtaking. I LOVE ACCENTS. I love that there is a story behind them. They, whoever has an accent, so everyone to someone, are from somewhere else, if the accent isn’t my own, and they have a story. I lean more towards the European accent any day though. I pick up accents and languages fairly quickly so I am sure that wherever I go, I will come back talking like a local. I love that.
I want to skydive. Why? Because I am deathly afraid of heights. I am deathly afraid of water too. Big water. A month ago, I walked on this random, crazy scary little bridge out over some crazy body of water. I was scared but knew if I fell in that J. would first laugh then jump in and help me out. I really was scared about that. Gotta face your fears right? I thought I faced my water and heights fear when I went cliff jumping in Jamaica. That was the dumbest thing I could have done. I am not a great swimmer either. It was one of those things that when you are in mid air, you realize what the heck you just did and start to panic but before your sympathetic nervous system can kick in, you are hitting water and better figure it out. So dumb. So scary. I would never do that again. Not on purpose anyways. So skydiving. Sounds crazy and dumb but I am up for it just once. Why not..
I want to take a roadtrip with my brothers. We shall do that this summer when I go to K.C to visit. I want to go to St.Louis. Not too far but far enough being in the car with my bro’s. We should go to a show and eat a lot and listen to lil wayne or one of them lil’s.
I want to go to a restaurant and have them teach me how to cook. For example, my favorite Thai place is Grand Thai. I became friends with the owner because I used to go there so much and he and the sushi chef said I could come in sometime during the week when they were slow and they would teach me about sushi. I love food. I love to cook. I love to learn. Perfect.
I want to fly somewhere by myself. Maybe this could be Europe or my beach trip that I am praying for. Every time I fly, I am entertaining a child by myself. I am always jealous of that chic who has her book and her headphone and neck pillow. She always has good snacks that I want in her little bag. I have crayons and gold fish. Just me and a book and my ticket. ( I am sure I will get placed near the screaming baby though)
I want peace in my day and a few great companions who are gonna walk with me thru the pages of my story. I said on facebook today that I feel like Frodo. Frodo Baggins of the Shire. It is time to return the ring and all that the ring symbolizes. I am carefully picking those few who will battle with me. I know there will be good days and bad days and lots of lonely days but it is not about just me. There is a story to be told. A story that will impact the characters in the later chapters. I don’t know the next chapter. I don’t even know the end of this page. I do know its an adventure. A friend of mine, G. said that God invites us to go on the journey. We don’t have to. He just simply invites.
My bags are packed. Let’s go! (maybe I should update my passport 🙂