Category Archives: longing

Final 2011 post

Hey friends!

This will be my last post of the year. I leave in just a few hours for  a surprise overseas trip. AHHHHH!!

I have a feeling it is going to be magical.

I can’ t wait to post when I get back and tell you about all the wonderful little adventures that happened.

I am BEYOND thankful for this year. It has been the hardest yet most amazing year of my life. I am not the same person that I was last December and for that I am grateful. The Lord has stripped my life of the things I thought I needed and has given me HIM in its place and there is where I have found my joy & contentment. I have felt more rejection, failure, sorrow & loneliness in this year and at the same time, I have also experienced the deepest love, understood redemption a bit and have witnessed  the most crazy provision:

~I was completely out of toilet paper, prayed, and a random person showed up with a a pack of toilet paper

~I had no gas in my car, and no money to buy gas, and a friend told me to meet her at the gas station so she could fill up my tank

~On a day where I didn’t have money to buy lunch nor food in my fridge to bring, a co-worker just happened to bring extra food for me

~My rent was paid, for 8 months straight, by someone different each month

~I went to Disney World, for FREE!

~Not to mention that someone brought Bailey and I into their home…RENT FREE!

This is just a tiny little bit of the things the Lord has done. I can honestly take ZERO credit for any of this. The Lord is crazy & awesome and up to so much good for our lives. Sometime though, we have to go through some deep painful things so that we will learn to trust in the Lord & become fully dependent on Him. Let me be the first to tell you that it is not fun or easy. Not knowing where you will be living, how your baby will get fed or what on earth the Lord has for your next page is not fun. I think that is why so many people stay in their safe little stories even if they hate the story they are in. At least there is something familiar & comfortable about it, but when I read the Bible, I have yet to read where people who follow Jesus lead safe comfortable lives. Is that in your Bible?

My prayer for 2012 is that we would be willing to abandon the safe little story that we have held onto in our minds. That we would allow the Lord to write us a story that people would want to read. A story of adventure & faith & trust. That we would no longer desire the petty things of this world but that we would be desperate for the Father & His mighty Word. In this next year, decide to give it up. Allow the Lord to just rock your world and take your story to a place that you would never expect.

I can’t wait to tell you all about my trip. I will be back after the first of the year.

I am jumping into a new story and am excited to see what the first few pages have!

You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, so that my soul may praise you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!”~Psalm 30:11


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“Though the fig tree does not blossom, and no fruit is on the vines; though the produce of the olive fails and the fields yield no food; though the flock is cut off from the fold and there is no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will exult in the God of my salvation. GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, and makes me tread upon the heights.”

~Habakkuk 3:17-19

The Longings of my little heart…

I long to have a home.

A yard. A house that looks like something right out of an Anthropologie catalogue.

I long to have friends over all the time for dinner. I long to have a sweet kitchen and I long to cook fresh organic food everyday. 
A garden.
A clothes line. 
I long to be in love. I long to be loved, desired, cherished, adored, thought of. 
I long to be around creative and fabulous people who draw something out of me. Something that is deep and real and honest and organic and contagious. 
I long to understand my heart and how the Lord feels about me. 
I long to raise a responsible child who is confident and fears the Lord
I long to be done with school. I mean d.o.n.e.
I long to go on adventures. Travel. Asia. Backpack. Europe. Hike. Skydive. Surprises. Shows. Road trips.
I long to never be offended by people.
To forgive.
Joke less.
Smile more.
I long to get 9 hours of sleep each nite. 
I long to have a dog. A bike and a 27′ Mac. 
I long for my heart to be completely free.
Completely whole and completely God’s to give away.
I long for Chipotle and a frosty Coke and ice cream.
I long for order and peace and a clean home. A place for everything and for someone to have my back on this HUGE issue and understand what this does for my soul. 
I long for my life to be a piece of artwork. Something that people will want to come and observe and study and ask questions and tear up and say, “WOW. That is beautiful. What an AMAZING artist.”
p.s I cried when I saw my first Rothko. unbelievable.