Category Archives: perspective

Final 2011 post

Hey friends!

This will be my last post of the year. I leave in just a few hours for  a surprise overseas trip. AHHHHH!!

I have a feeling it is going to be magical.

I can’ t wait to post when I get back and tell you about all the wonderful little adventures that happened.

I am BEYOND thankful for this year. It has been the hardest yet most amazing year of my life. I am not the same person that I was last December and for that I am grateful. The Lord has stripped my life of the things I thought I needed and has given me HIM in its place and there is where I have found my joy & contentment. I have felt more rejection, failure, sorrow & loneliness in this year and at the same time, I have also experienced the deepest love, understood redemption a bit and have witnessed  the most crazy provision:

~I was completely out of toilet paper, prayed, and a random person showed up with a a pack of toilet paper

~I had no gas in my car, and no money to buy gas, and a friend told me to meet her at the gas station so she could fill up my tank

~On a day where I didn’t have money to buy lunch nor food in my fridge to bring, a co-worker just happened to bring extra food for me

~My rent was paid, for 8 months straight, by someone different each month

~I went to Disney World, for FREE!

~Not to mention that someone brought Bailey and I into their home…RENT FREE!

This is just a tiny little bit of the things the Lord has done. I can honestly take ZERO credit for any of this. The Lord is crazy & awesome and up to so much good for our lives. Sometime though, we have to go through some deep painful things so that we will learn to trust in the Lord & become fully dependent on Him. Let me be the first to tell you that it is not fun or easy. Not knowing where you will be living, how your baby will get fed or what on earth the Lord has for your next page is not fun. I think that is why so many people stay in their safe little stories even if they hate the story they are in. At least there is something familiar & comfortable about it, but when I read the Bible, I have yet to read where people who follow Jesus lead safe comfortable lives. Is that in your Bible?

My prayer for 2012 is that we would be willing to abandon the safe little story that we have held onto in our minds. That we would allow the Lord to write us a story that people would want to read. A story of adventure & faith & trust. That we would no longer desire the petty things of this world but that we would be desperate for the Father & His mighty Word. In this next year, decide to give it up. Allow the Lord to just rock your world and take your story to a place that you would never expect.

I can’t wait to tell you all about my trip. I will be back after the first of the year.

I am jumping into a new story and am excited to see what the first few pages have!

You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, so that my soul may praise you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!”~Psalm 30:11


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I’m a wanna be:
~World Traveler
~30yr old
~Morning Person

Or, am I really just a crappy version of all of these things…
I think my view of myself just completely changed.

Who/what do you wanna be?

Bless this Mess

We all have a story. The days, months, and years that lead to this very day. Some have sad stories, some boring and others, while only a small handful, really exciting. If I had to put a title on my 28yr story I would call it “A beautiful Mess”. The beautiful part comes from the grace that the LORD has lavished upon me. And the ‘mess’, well:
The Mess
About 7 years ago, I wanted to get married. Like really bad. So I, being the strong 1/2 black woman that I am, made that happen. I just wanted to have my family and run my home and hang clothes on my clothes line and have friends over for dinner parties because we all know that is the reality of marriage (hahah). Looking back, it was a ‘DUH’ as to why I should not have entered into that marriage, but at the time, it was all I could focus on. I wanted a marriage more than I wanted the LORD’s will for my life. So I got it. I started school to become a dental hygienist, so that I could work and provide for my family..biblical, all while raising a 2yr old. Well, within the first year of the program, both my marriage and my education failed. Ugh. I lost my career, my husband, my money, my pride all in the same year. Kind of a lot. And that my friends is what I call the ‘mess’.
The beautiful
I am so thankful that I serve a GOD that is able to make right that which I mess up. The LORD put a new dream in my heart. A dream that could only have come by going through the loss and rejection that I went through. A dream that starts in a closet. In your closet. Cleaning out the clutter, organizing what is left. Simplifying your life. Teaching. Empowering. Encouraging. Because its all about your perspective and when you lose what you thought was ‘everything’, you can either gain depression and bitterness OR hope and a future!
I am excited for a year from now. I am not excited for all the things I have to do now in order to get what I feel is for me because, frankly, I do not enjoy handing out postcards door to door in my neighborhood. That is not fun. But it is the step that I have to take today yesterday to get where I want to be at 30yrs old. I feel like I have a second chance at life and, by God’s grace, I am NOT going to mess this up. 

Till a good lawyer do us part…

I have had this picture for some time now. I guess I have been waiting for the appropriate time to share it. Today would be that day. Five years ago today, I was getting ready for the wedding that I dreamt about my entire life. 
The fairy-tale: the handsome prince on his white horse whisking away his beautiful princess into a magical world (why do the Disney movies stop at the wedding? What happens after the i do’s..guess they would lose a ton of money if they made a movie based on Ariel as a single mom trying to keep her and the babies afloat…or do they not make it and have to go back “under the sea”. 

If there is one thing I have learned then it is that life never ever turns out the way we plan. It is not like the childhood movies we watch.
I wouldn’t change my situation for anything. For I know that I am truly in the story that I am suppose to be in. I was made for this story and am thankful for the grace and strength the Lord has given me to walk it out.
The Lord has brought me to a place that I would have never gotten to any other way. I am thankful that I have that book that I can soon close and put on the shelf. I have learned a ton in that book and am the better for it.
There are two sides to every story and I am well aware that the other side of this story is a reader of this blog.
To you: thanks for reading the blog and I wish you the best. I hope to see you on the Grammy’s some day soon. Thank you for a beautiful daughter and for giving me such a great story.

What would you title a modern day Disney movie? 

monkey ball soup

I was not promised that I would not have to go through the storms. I was promised that HE would never leave for nor forsake me. I feel as though the temperature of my story is changing. This morning, I read my journal entry from a year ago. It makes my heart smile that I am no longer in that season of life. It makes me thankful that I was allowed to go through that trying season. Makes me thankful that the LORD allowed all that happened and during all of it, was ever so present. There is now a burning in my heart, like the 100 degree Virginia heat, that is slowing pushing me in a different direction. I am going to have to make some big decisions here in the next few weeks and months. Don’t get me wrong, decision making is kinda my thing see previous blog post titled Vase of Tulips but these decisions are kinda huge. Not like Chipotle or GrandThai, dress or jeans, eggs or bagel. I am going to get my change of scenery that I want one way or another. I wonder what coffee shop I will be blogging at in a few months? I will not be cooking in this kitchen that I have cooked in for 4 years. I will not have my nice walk in closet. I will not have my wonderful neighbors from Nepal. why am i crying?!  
Okay. I needed a break. I laid out in the sun for like 30 minutes. Yes. I like to tan too. Leave me alone. 
This has really been a great chapter for me in my story. It has not been easy at all, but being aware of my life and my journey as a story has transformed my perspective. 
It is all about your perspective.
Change your mind set. 
I will gladly embrase the next chapters. They will not look like this one. They are not suppose to. Now I need a strong drink. Iced coffee. yes please. 


Life is so wonderful. I have so much to blog about. Where to begin……..
I got home really late last nite from my trip to Kansas City and then stayed up way too late but it was worth it. I will have today to reflect. It was by far my best visit home. There are new characters in my story now. 
I had some wonderful convo with a few of these characters this week. Ahhhh. Life. It is just beautiful. Love where you are at. Whether it is a season of mourning or of rejoicing. Be present in it. Fully feel the emotions that you feel. 
If you are alone then fully be alone. Walk that out with the Lord. Experience it. 
If you are pregnant then each day experience it. BE sick. Hold your belly. Go THROUGH it. And when it comes time to have the baby then be ever so present in that moment. 
Breathe it in. Let your soul be refined. Let your perspective be challenged and allow the LORD to do in that moment what HE wants. CHOSE to have a better story. I love my story. It is MINE. Fully mine. I am responsible for it and to it. I want to be present as each paragraph gets written. I want to remember it. I want to walk thru each emotion as if I am walking through a foreign city….taking note of each building, the smell, the people, the sounds, the food…
There were a few experiences while on my trip that I fully experienced and remember so clearly. I breathed it in. I can close my eyes now and see it and feel it. Mmmmmm. I want all of life to be like that. 
I don’t want to get caught up in this rat race. I want to experience people and life and coffee and good food and my story. How many times do we wish that we can hurry and get to the next thing in life-the next semester, car, significant other, town, job, season. Oh if we would stop that. If I would stop that. I am. I have. And what a beautiful thing it is. Life is better today because I fully went through yesterday. And tomorrow I will see things a bit different because of what I walked out today. I am excited for you. I hope you fully read what I wrote. I hope you can feel what I am feeling. I hope you walk out life. I hope Germany wins.