Once upon a time, there was a small girl. This girl lived in a small village between the tallest mountain and the deepest ocean. She lived in a quiet home with a tiny white dwarf. One day, the gatekeeper told the small girl that she had thirty-four days to get out of her peaceful home or else they were going to kick her out on the dirty streets with all of her stuff and the white dwarf. The townspeople were in shock by this and kept asking the small girl where she was going to live. But the small girl had no clue. With no place to go and no clue what the next chapter had in store for her or the white dwarf, the small girl did only what she knew. She worshiped her GOD, sought HIS face and trusted that HE would once again come through for her, as HE has done time and time again. She knew that her GOD would somehow make a way when there seemed to be no way. That although she could not yet see over this mountain, she must keep walking and that soon, and very soon, she would see over the mountain and then, and only then, will she and the white dwarf be ready for their next adventure.
Does it look like I have no clue what lies ahead in my little life? In my “beautiful mess” of a life? Because I don’t. I don’t like this feeling. This new feeling of TRUST.
I don’t like it.
It doesn’t feel stable.
It feels reckless.
It doesn’t feel secure.
It feels free. But not in a good free, like a buy one get one free, but like a jumping off a cliff free in the air sort of free.
I chose to jump. I chose to TRUST. Now, I must deal with the consequences of TRUSTING the AlmightY GOD.
“Craving clarity, we attempt to eliminate the risk of trusting GOD”
My heart for so long has craved this thing of clarity. This statement shatters all that I have come to know and hope in. The magnitude of what that means on a heart level is so overwhelming that my eyes fill with tears each time I take a moment to breathe that into my soul. My life will never look the same. It is that tidbit of information (referring to the quote) that stays with you on a daily basis, that haunts you at night that lingers in your mind like a bad wine on the palate. Knowing that now I am held accountable to it. To TRUST. Such a FreeIng ReSponsibilitY. I am so humbled by this. It shuts me up, stops my plans, opens my heart challenges my motives and directs my gaze upward.